Ok…I lied…I said that I wouldn’t have anymore journal entries…well… I have on left… And as you can guess it has everything to do with the name in the title.
First off, some of you have already read her journal entry
[link]
So my comments will begin with that and then progress to her letter she sent us.
“i drive them to their cars since they can't park at university plaza anymore...and i rarely get thanked...it's just like it's expected of me.”
That is a lie. I rode almost if not all the time with her to drop Sarah off at her car, and Sarah always said thank you. And Sarah never expected it from her. Most of the time Bekah would volunteer to take her. So if that is never saying thank you, or taking advantage of her… well then that is the most oddest way I have ever seen it. Jessie, hardly ever got rides from Bekah to her car, would also say thank you. Besides this whole ride thing… has only at the most been going for at least a month. Wow, not really a long time huh.
“i let them use my dishes to cook with...they leave leftovers in the fridge and i have to throw them away after a week and soak the dish because the food is stuck”
First off, this whole leftover thing was one plate, with pizza on it. And in reality no one knew whose leftover it was. Jessie didn’t claim because she had eaten her piece. Sarah had eaten hers too and didn’t claim it. I never wanted a piece. And Bekah never touched hers. So in reality who is really to blame for the plate? No one wanted to claim it as there own… and it is so sad to say that so far it was only one plate.
“something about i didn't say bye to them friday afternoon...they all said bye to me and i had something in my mouth so i waved my fingers at them (i was holding my bookbag strap)...i'm guessing they didn't see that?!”
First off, you were already pissed off at us before that. You stormed out of the computer, glared at me when I took the trash out and never even made eye contact as you left the dorm. We could tell you were already pissed before you left. As I walked out from the dorm to go to the computer to meet Sarah and Jessie again they were already coming in. Sarah said you were pissed and stormed out of the computer lab. She said that neither one of them knew what they did, and I didn’t know what I did either, I wasn’t even there. Candy or no candy, it doesn’t explain your behavior in the computer lab, nor does it explain why when you left geology you glared at sarah and stormed off. She hadn’t even done anything yet.
“and no one is putting toilet paper in the bathroom...i did all last week and part of the week before...meghan is keeping hers under her sink...jessie gets to use it...i'm guessing sarah too”
My mom has been telling me since last semester to keep my toilet paper in my room and to use it for myself. You rarely even buy any for the dorm. Last week as the third time you actually put toilet paper out. And the only reason you ended up doing that was because we completely ran out. We didn’t even know you had any.
“then i'm driving home and i have my music on... so i get home and see that jessie left me a voicemail”
You must have had you phone on silent because you always have been able to hear you phone on before. Even when you listen to it in the dorm you could always here it and answer it. In reality you just probably just wanted to ignore it for being pissed at us.
Now that we are done with journal onward to the note left by her.
“I’ve always felt…I don’t know…inferior (I guess that’s the only word that fits) to you.. not because you’re a better person…but because you make yourself out to be”
In reality I never thought I was better than anyone else, nor did I want you to feel inferior to me. My only problem is that I have more self-confidence in myself. I’m not worried about that my friends are going to leave me, I know that they are my friends no matter what. And I don’t have to call them every minute to figure out where they are, I’m not going to be mad if they go out to eat when I’m in class, and at the upmost I cared about them. I never put myself first, it was always them, and will always will be.
“But now that I look back you’re only friends with me when I can do something for you or no one better is around”
What the crap? I never wanted you to do anything for me, yeah I asked once in while to do me a favor, like maybe proofread a paper, or the computer thing, but rarely wanted you to do anything for me. So let me guess, the only reason I ever begged Jessie to always invite you to her parties was because I wanted to use you. Or even when I invited you to my parties or bought gifts for you birthday, Christmas, or any other occasion, it was all because I wanted to use you? So the only reason I agreed with us staying in dorm was to use you? Fine then, if you feel that way, but I never thought about using you. I always thought of you as a friend, yea I would get quirk once in a while about things you would do, such as hording everything in your room. Which reminds me you don’t have an attachment disorder, you have a possessive disorder. You even put your name on everything even a pencil holder! What are you afraid that we are going to walk off with it? Even when you sister had to go to hospital because she was sick that day and the day you had to move in to dorm and you complained that she was your mom, and that she should be there with you. How selfish is that! Yea, moving into dorm is a little new but not life threatening, not dangerous and it is not like you didn’t go home every weekend to see her. And the whole computer thing. I can’t believe you are still stuck on it. I told you I was sorry, yes I know I was wrong to get mad and say things, but here you sit still glued to the whole idea of oh Meghan still thinks I’m selfish, blah blah blah. At the upmost I wasn’t so mad about you not helping me…but at the up most I was extremely upset that you claimed to have forgotten me when going to the pickle barrel. That is a lie. You came into the dorm dropped your stuff and I sat there waiting for you to knock or call but you never did. You left and came back and gave me some crap that oh! you had forgot, yea right. And another was last week when you said you were going to leave early to ask Dr. Trupe a question. I was not far behind you. And when I get here you said you were early and he wasn’t there in which he was down the hallway. And he came in and even asked the class if they had a question, and you never asked. You lied about that. You just didn’t want to walk or wait on me. Last but not least you don’t have a good girl reputation. My parents believes you are selfish, lazy, have a physiological problem, and in a way they feel sorry for you because you will never have a real life.
Another note, about the whole rant journal and how you assumed it was all about you. I don’t know how the in the world you got that idea in your head. Here let me say this, I am 18 I have been to four different schools and I have met more people than you ever will. How in the world does that mean that a whole rant could possibly be all about you. My world doesn’t revolve around you. Everything I say, everything I do, everything I write, will not always involve you. I’m not a Paul, I’m not your parents, I was your friend but still, my world did not revolve around you.
“all this got me thinking...are any of my friends really my friends?”
You always doubted us… you never believed that we really thought of you as a friend… well I guess you never really wanted us as a friend then either…
So here you sit demanding us to give you a reason why we are not talking to you. Here it is, you have treated us like crap. You lie to us, you treat us like we haven’t been your friends and you expect our worlds to revolve around you. Ever since this whole thing has happen we never heard anything about the good things we have done, just complaints of why we were never your friends. I guess what ever you have to say to make yourself feel better, go ahead.
update ^__^
